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Psychotherapy/ counseling for women & their relationships on Long Island.

INFORMATION/ RESOURCE PAGE

e. sue blume, lcsw, dcsw

therapist, author ("secret survivors"), lecturer

...as seen on donahue, montel,
60 minutes...

THERAPY for WOMEN and their RELATIONSHIPS
with special attention to these special populations and issues:

...Alcoholism treatment/ life after recovery
...ACOAs (Adult Children of Alcoholics)
...Loss/ bereavement (includes breakups, pet loss)
(men welcome)
...Lesbians/ parents & loved ones of lesbians & gays
...Relationships (includes partners/ spouses, siblings)

PROFESSIONAL CONSULTATIONS & TRAINING; COMMUNITY EDUCATION
Particularly: Alcoholism; Incest Recovery, Dissociation (including Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder); and Lesbian/gay concerns (treatment needs and social issues, including coming out, relationships, internal, social, and treatment-based homophobia, family concerns).

...if you have difficulty coping with life's challenges...if you often feel sad, scared or confused, powerless or out of control...or if you cannot experience or identify your feelings...
...if you're a "people pleaser," drowning in "shoulds and oughts", lost in other peoples' expectations...and if one of their demands is for you to not to be upset, or to “just let go of” the past...

...if you expect people just to "know" what you are feeling-- and they never do...if feelings such as anger, jealousy, need, or sexuality cause you shame, make you feel worthless....
...if you just wish for a safe place to share difficult feelings where they will be heard and honored rather than judged or dismissed...
...or if you have trouble seeing the humor in life...

THEN MAYBE YOU COULD BENEFIT FROM THERAPY

Do you know how to choose the right partners or friends? Are you unable to develop and maintain successful, fulfilling relationships?
Do you close yourself off from others, or live in fear that you will be abandoned--or consumed? Do you need help in learning how to establish boundaries or trust?
Do you understand the impact of society's judgments, rules and expectations on you as a women, or a lesbian women?
Are your attempts to escape through alcohol or drugs causing problems for you, or those in your life? Or have you given up substances, but only to find that your life feels even more unmanageable than before?
Have you had to face that "your way" isn't working?

If these statements apply to you, does that mean you are "not normal"? Crazy, even?

Of course not. It's only human to feel sad, confused, scared. And everyone struggles with relationships, sometimes.

But if these problems are keeping you from having the kind of life you want, then perhaps it's time to examine your feelings and experiences with the assistance of someone who is not involved in your life--an objective outsider.

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR THERAPIST

Many people are willing to put more work into finding the right plumber than the right therapist! Therapy is a lot like a dance. Not all therapists will be right for you. It takes time and the right questions to discover who will be the best partner for your journey.

WHY A SOCIAL WORKER
As a Social Worker, I am trained to look at "person in situation." Your problems do not necessarily originate in your brain chemistry. The events of your life, combined with the meaning you bring to them, have helped create who you are. And who you are is a complex being who lives in a social context. More important, you are is a person not only with problems, but strengths as well.

SPECIAL ISSUES
Some people believe that any therapist can help them with any problem. This may not be the case. Just as in other fields, professionals who are not trained or experienced with certain issues may miss or wrongly address what a client really needs.

THE RELATIONSHIP
In choosing a therapist, not only are their special skills and credentials important, but you must feel comfortable, and safe. (This might not happen immediately, as all relationships grow over time. And if you have tried a number of therapists, and never felt right with any of them, this might well be something you need to explore.) In fact, research has demonstrated that the success of treatment is less about any particular method of treatment (ie, psychoanalytic, cognitive-behavioral, etc.) than it is about the relationship between the client and therapist.

MY STYLE
One factor that has a strong impact on relationships is verbal style. Some people are intimidated by therapists who are more actively verbal. Some, on the other hand, want more than to have their statements reflected back to them; "un-hmmm' is not enough response for them.

I am very verbal with my clients, and use humor where appropriate. If you desire, I employ exercises and assignments. You will be given active feedback, and the human dynamics with which you struggle will be translated into language you can understand and use. I see therapy not only as reflective but also as training in the skills necessary to be a person in the world.

Together, we will review your questions and concerns, examine your your patterns and reactions. We will explore "how you got to be this way", looking for the powerful factors that led you to see and interact with the world in your own particular way. You will be helped to understand and heal old wounds. (Facing your pain is not at all the same as self pity. You are entitled to your pain. You earned it, the hard way.) Once you can identify the hidden or unspoken feelings that control your life, you will be freed to make better choices.

IT'S YOUR THERAPY--IT'S YOUR LIFE!
Therapists do not give advice or tell you what to do. In the end, every decision about your life is still yours--including, whether to change at all!

IT'S NORMAL TO BE ANXIOUS...
...I was, when I first went to therapy. I want you to feel free to call me with any questions you might have.

Many people who seek help are struggling with secrets. Clients often expect--or fear--that therapists are mind readers, that we will automatically know everything that causes shame or that they cannot express. The good news--and the bad news--is that this is not the case. This means you will have to work to explain and show us what is inside, but it also means we don't know the secrets you don't want to reveal, until you decide the time is right. You decide the pace, you choose what to deal with, and you determine who you want to be in the end.

Over time, I hope you come to appreciate what I know about my clients--that it takes courage to consider the need to do things differently, even more courage to risk change...and asking for help does not mean you are weak, or a failure; quite the opposite. Therapy is hard work, but also a rewarding, exciting, challenging adventure--and it is definitely not for cowards!

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Now, if you have questions about fees, hours, insurance, and all that other good stuff, please go to my FAQ page (link on top of this page), where you'll probably find most of the information you need.